Steve and I became brothers-in-law 45 years ago. We both married one of Onisim & Eva Kowal’s 7 daughters. I called them the 7 sisters on account of the Pleiades star cluster, one of the heavenly bodies you find in the Bible (in the Book of Job).
Throughout the years we would gather together for special events, like weddings and funerals, and whenever someone special came to visit, like the Kowal brother Juan from Argentina in 1987.
Elsa and I moved to Oregon in 1976 because of a teaching job that I was given in an Elementary/Middle school. But we made at least 2 trips a year to California to be with what we called the “La Familia” – i.e. all of the Kowal relatives. We visited Steve and Olga in their Concord home whenever we could. Steve always loved to show us his garden and the flowers, lemons, and oranges in his yard.
Steve always had a piano and an organ in his house. In Concord, they were in separate rooms, so we often took turns playing one or the other and singing together. When he moved to Rocklin years later, he had both the piano and organ in a special room, and we were able to play duets. We both loved music and we shared a fondness for gospel songs and hymns. “How Great Thou Art” was one of our favorites.
When Elsa and I retired in 2003 and moved back to California, we found a house in Antioch, not far from Concord, and we spent many days together with Steve & Olga. He became my best brother-in-law.
One of my most memorable times with Steve was in 2001 when he asked if I’d take a trip with him to see a special Spanish exhibit in Jackson, Mississippi. It was called the Majesty of Spain exhibit from the Prado Museum in Madrid, Spain. Steve was extremely interested in all things Spanish, especially Spanish royalty. I told him on several occasions – after listening to a mini lecture about some Spanish king or queen – that he would make a great college professor on Spanish history.
Well, I agreed to go with him on the cross-country trip. We started the 19 day trip through the Southern United States at the Grand Canyon, then we traveled through the Petrified National Park and other parks and historical sites, including the Indian sites like the Trail of Tears in Oklahoma. As we drove through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, and finally Mississippi, I learned a lot about Steve as we talked about everything under the sun and met people from all walks of life. Steve loved to talk about any subject, and he interacted with lots of people that we met along the way. Steve was truly a lover of people. Somehow he was even able to speak to foreigners in their native tongue, even if it was only a few words that he managed to remember. That always was a conversation starter.
When we finally saw the Prado Museum exhibit in Mississippi, Steve proposed that we keep traveling all the way to Georgia. He had some friends there he wanted to see again. It turned out that it was a Mexican family named Morua, whom Steve helped immensely while they were living and working in Concord. I was amazed at the reception they gave him in Atlanta, Georgia. They treated him like the patriarch of the family.
It was in Atlanta, also, that we spent the 4th of July and climbed Stone Mountain and afterwards saw a laser show there that showed a reenactment of Southern Confederate heroes – something that Steve enjoyed seeing. We even managed to visit the church where Martin Luther King preached at.
On our return trip, Steve again made a special request – this time it was to stop at his nephew Loren Hadley’s house near Baton Rouge, Louisiana. This was where I learned Steve’s true name. The children of his nephew came out of the house cheerfully screaming, “Uncle Mo is here!”
From then on I sometimes referred to Steve as Uncle Mo, and sometimes by his first name Moses – the name of the Jewish hero who led the Israelites to the Promised Land.
There were other small trips that we took together, like the ones to Lake Tahoe and Yosemite. Most of the trips we took with our wives. We had a lot of fun together.
Steve was a real family man, and he loved his children Johnny and Michelle and the grandchildren they gave him and Olga: Henry, Matthew, Ava, Andrew, and Elise. Steve loved all of them dearly and equally. He prayed for them daily.
When it came time for Elsa and me to move back to Oregon in 2012, he understood, for we were moving back to be with our son and his growing family – two lovely grand-daughters. As grandparents, we both understood that it was our duty to love, cherish, and yes, to spoil the grandchildren that God had given to us. We were truly blessed!
I will always remember Steve’s hospitality – how he loved to cook meals for us, sometimes with bits of cactus that grew in his backyard. He loved family gatherings, and gatherings with friends. Everyone was special in Steve’s book.
Steve was also a great friend to many people. He would sit for hours on the phone, calling as many friends as he could and talk with them. Whenever Steve called, that would be a special time for me. I enjoyed talking with him.
He called me several weeks before his last days on earth. I think he sensed that his time on earth was soon coming to an end. He often joked after he reached 70 years of age – the biblical year given as the time allotted for human beings – that he hoped he was worthy to have his life extended to 80, something the Bible mentions. He must have been exceptionally favored by God, for he lived to be 83.
Steve and I often had discussions about what we thought happened to the soul after it leaves the body at death. My view was that the soul reviews its life on earth before passing on to its heavenly reward. When Steve passed away, I was really sad and stunned at the loss of a great friend and brother-in-law, but then I began to review in my own mind’s eye all the precious moments that we shared together. It was like I was also reviewing his life on earth.
There is a biblical principle that says: to be absent in the body is to be present in the Spirit.
Steve, even though we will miss you in the body, and enjoying your physical presence, we will always celebrate your life and the memories we enjoyed together. Your spirit will live on in our hearts and minds – whenever we reflect on the kind words you spoke and the good actions you performed. Your life will be an example for us to follow – for you showed us how to love our fellow human beings in the ways of the Master, who taught us to love one another.
Thank you, Uncle Mo, for sharing your Life with us. We love you – Now and Forever. And we will meet you, again, on God’s Golden Shore.
Amen.